jonasbrothers:

they better play corbin bleu’s “push it to the limit” when i’m in the delivery room or else i am not giving birth to that child 

jaceheromdale:

i’m too busy shipping my otp to care about my own love life

2000yr:

merlotte:

2000yr:

Can the science side of tumblr explain why my ass itch

wash your fucking ass

Wash your attitude

unfauxgettable:

chekhov:

unfauxgettable:

I couldn’t get this .gif to work on my phone

The overworked Chinese laborer who made this phone after being kept awake for 46 hours, delirious with sleeplessness and her eyes stinging due to the toxins in the air around her would be rolling on the floor right now.

Mtumbe Ngoube, the 11 year old African girl who is being kept as a slave in the Congo, who spends all hours of the day digging up the minerals necessary to make that phone would be clapping for you right now if she had any arms. The militia cut them off.

THE PHONE WAS ALREADY BROKEN THE PHONE WAS ALREADY BROKEN STOP TRYING TO GUILT TRIP ME ITS NOT EVEN WORKING also how does the slave girl dig with no arms

darrenstummy:

the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along

I crave your legs intertwined with mine, I crave nothing but you, in the most simplest of ways.

rumpelstiltskln:

rumpelstiltskln:

Dogs are the only people allowed to smell horrible so wear deodorant goddammit

image

don’t ever speak this trash to me again

yellfang:

party-at-the-tardis:

shavingryansprivates:

why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying

  • the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
  • ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
  • it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died

and fucking died

humpty dumpty committed suicide

jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull

A BABY FELL OUT A TREE

getyourassbeat:

opens window curtains, takes 50 selfies in natural light, closes window curtains

tylenold:

it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine

zirastiel:

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

covocal:

i want to be so hot that i turn gay people straight

brilliances:

What if everything was just a bad dream and you wake up to a perfect life

seifukucat:

it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful

punacceptable:

sext: that looks infected

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